When we think of the term dominatrix, we often think of a typical BDSM idea. You know, someone with high heels standing on a guy’s neck while holding a whip. While this is very much the case for many dominatrices – stereotypes do hold some truth to them, at least occasionally – you might be surprised at the variety. Look around on any dominatrix sites, and you will see multiple varieties.
While this list is nowhere near exhaustive, we want to give you a few varieties of the different types of dominatrix out there. This might help you to find the particular kind of dom you are looking for, or it might even help you realize what kind of dom you want to be. Who knows?
The Different Types Of Dominatrix: Where To Start?
While this is a rather advanced topic, once you get into the nitty-gritty of it, there are some basic archetypes to consider. To help you get a better handle on the types of dominatrices you might run into/want to become, here are some of the different types:
Standard Dominatrix
Arguably, the most common form of dominatrix activities will be built around the idea of a master or mistress being in charge. These follow the standard roles often put across in tropes: permission is needed for everything. That means everything from eating food or going to the toilet to having permission to masturbate. There is a strong punishment system often put in place so that failure is ‘rewarded’ with punishment.
Now, this can often go differently, and the severity of the permission and punishment can vary. What will happen in terms of forfeits and punishment will also change from relationship to relationship.
Financial Dominatrix
The idea of financial domination has spread like wildfire in recent years, with many women, in particular, finding their way into this field. The premise is simple: a “paypig” (almost always a wealthy-ish guy) will pay their dominatrix money and watch them spend whatever they desire. Many guys get off on the pleasure of seeing their hard-earned cash spent by a dominatrix.
There are many financial dominatrix available today, especially on dominatrix sites like FindomMeet. Places like this make it easy for a paypig to find their desired partner and start enjoying all of the thrills that come from being a paypig. The majority of people in this scene hold a lot of decision-making power in their day-to-day lives. Surrounding that power can be quite the thrill, apparently!
Ownership/Pet Play
A pure domination fetish, owners essentially treat their submissives like their pets. They will almost replicate the animal-owner dynamic, with things like training bred into the side of things. In some cases, this can be pure pet play – literally spoken to like a dog or worked like a horse. It can simply depend on the person who is on the receiving end of it and the kind of dominatrix that is involved to begin with.
This can be things as simple as training the ‘pet’ to do something the ‘owner’ wants, stuff like providing them with food and water, or even grooming them and attaching things like collars. There is a strong animalistic intent behind this kind of dominatrix personality. It is increasingly common on dominatrix sites now, as there are lots of people who find this kind of fantasy thrilling in their way.
Cuckold/Cuckquean
This has become a more common form of dominatrix play, but some might not actually consider it as such. Still, this is so common now that we thought it important to mention it. This essentially is about a man/woman watching their significant other enjoy sexual relations with another person. Many people find infidelity extremely arousing, and watching their partner with another person is their most powerful turn-on.
The idea of watching your partner get their thrills with someone else is shocking to many. For some, though, it is just the thrill they need to reach maximum climax. Don’t believe us in terms of how popular this is? Just take a look at the dominatrix sites. More and more people are offering to be ‘bulls’ or ‘punny cuckcakes’ – the people who step in and provide pleasure for the cuck to watch.
This covers just a very small selection of the different types of dominatrix. Look around online, and you should see just how easy it is to find a financial dominatrix, for example. However, open your mind – open up various dominatrix sites and see just how many varieties of this exist!
It’s not easy being a Femdom out there. But, a good dominatrix knows the way to a client’s deepest desires, and becoming a Findom is an extension of that.
The world of financial domination is filled with scammers and fakes looking to make a quick buck. But beneath all the hustle and bustle of the surface, there is a real opportunity to make a steady income and engage in what you love as a Findom.
We’re here to help new Findoms find the best places to network and find their first paypigs without getting tripped up or lost in the crowd.
What is a Paypig in Findom?
A paypig is a derogatory yet playful name for submissives who derive their pleasure through Findom by being forced to give money to their dominant (consensually, of course).
The power dynamic that plays out excites the paypig because it humiliates them and causes them to lose control over one of their sources of power: their money.
It’s a niche in the BDSM community that’s been growing in popularity but has its concerns and problems, just like most kinks.
Using Kink Dating Sites to Find a Paypig
Findoms find their paypigs through findom websites, social media, OnlyFans, or Kink communities online.
For BDSM dating sites, you can try sites like BDSMDatingOnly.com that cater specifically to those interested in fetish relationships, including Femdoms and Findoms.
For these sites, you need to make a dating profile that highlights what you’re looking for and your interests, including your limits and boundaries. You can also use it as a place to explain what you’re looking for in a paypig.
Most BDSM dating sites have search filters that can help you sort through tags and keywords in members’ profiles. Unfortunately, most of these don’t work perfectly, but they’re a good starting point.
When using a site like this, you should be clear and upfront about your expectations. The more straightforward your profile, the more likely you’ll find what you’re looking for – nothing too fancy is needed here. It’s also the best starting point for a healthy BDSM relationship.
Trying Social Media: X (formerly Twitter)
Because Twitter allows adult content and is quite a popular social media platform, it’s become the most popular platform for femdoms and Findoms to advertise their services and provide previews of their content to entice potential subs.
One of the best uses of the platform is to provide a stream of content highlighting the Findom lifestyle. By posting engaging content consistently, using the right hashtags, and interacting with your followers, you can quickly build a dedicated following of potential clients.
Twitter allows for more casual, mainstream interactions, giving you access to the broadest possible audience. You can share all kinds of content, including photos, videos, and clever text. This should be used to give a peek into your persona, giving subs a taste of what they can expect from you.
Using OnlyFans
It’s no secret that OnlyFans has emerged as the premiere website for offering homemade adult content to one’s target audience for a premium.
Just like with regular adult content, you can upload and curate kink content for whatever fee or subscription you’d like to charge on OnlyFans. This can range from just photos to full-length videos, personalized messages, and live sessions. It’s all highly customizable.
So, while OnlyFans is fantastic for monetization of your craft, the site doesn’t advertise its creators much. You’ll have to bring clients from other platforms, like X, Reddit, TikTok, or FetLife, to build your audience.
Joining the Kink Community: FetLife
You can also join one of the many online kink communities, FetLife chief among them. FetLife is a social networking site specifically catered to the BDSM community.
It’s a lot like Facebook in its basic setup, but obviously much more tailored to what interests the kink community. On it, it’s easy to meet and connect with lots of like-minded individuals, and besides online groups, there are also many avenues to discover and join real-life local events.
Advantages to FetLife for finding a paypig include the ability to write in-depth profiles that people actually read. You can then join in on discussions about specific interests related to Findom and groups dedicated to it. This is where you’ll find many people interested in meeting a good Findom.
Finally, you can use their local events pages to find real-life events worth attending for your search. Here, you can network with the locals and meet new potential clients in a safe and fun environment.
Building Trust and Setting Boundaries
Once you’ve begun the hunt for a paypig, building trust and setting clear boundaries are the next steps, regardless of your methods and platform.
Many inexperienced Findoms out there are just looking to take advantage of men. But Findom came out of a specific tradition of Femdom and is an extension of the practices and desires from there.
The best Findoms know how to create this power dynamic without being exploitative through a mutual understanding between them and their paypig.
Conclusion
These are just some of the most straightforward options to get you started on the right path. When you’re on these sites, search other successful Findoms to see their strategies. Don’t copy them, but seeing what’s trending and successful is key to getting your name out there.
Remember, there are pay pigs out there who are genuinely interested in finding you. It’s just about getting out there and being authentic with your services, and eventually, the piggies will find the truffles they’re looking for, oink oink!
For many men, the idea of always being in charge becomes boring. Some girls like to be told what to do, but for some men, the real kink comes from a role reversal. Instead of always telling your partner what to do, which can become boring, being put in your place by a female can be incredibly arousing. With that in mind, you might wonder how to find a dominant woman.
This could be a one-off meeting, a professional femdom relationship, or a new long-term relationship where you both are together, but she wears the pants. If you want to learn how to find a dominant partner, read on to help you understand what to look out for to find the right person for you.
1. Work out what you want
If you are looking to meet a long-term girlfriend who takes charge, you might need to look for a femdom personals site. If you want to meet someone for a regular or one-off domination experience, you should be looking for a dominatrix whom you can hire for the experience. Determine if you want a woman in your life who dominates you daily, or someone who you meet when the urge takes over. Your choice!
2. Find a safe place to look
The first thing that you need to do is to find some safe websites that offer the chance to see a dominant female partner. These femdom dating sites could be what you are looking for. These platforms are verified and vetted for safety and will only put you in touch with a dominant woman who takes the experience seriously.
3. Look around locally
Outside of the internet, it would be best if you also looked for potential hookup spots for people in the femdom community like Fetlife. You are going to need to put yourself out there a little. Look around for local BDSM meet-up points; you can find these on forums and social media aimed at BDSM communities. You might be shocked at where you are going to meet these people – it’s not all sex dungeons and underground clubs!
4. Accept rejection
Unfortunately, rejection is going to be part of your journey of how to find a dominant woman. Some women are not interested in being in charge, while others might not find you their cup of tea. They might prefer someone with a different look or set of personality traits. It is what it is, so just accept the fact that you might not be what they are looking for. You will find someone eventually.
5. Avoid being ‘domstruck’
One of the biggest killers for a potential dominant woman is meeting a guy who is ‘domstruck’ by them. They want you to let them be in charge, but fear is not an attractive component. You should be polite and normal with them; you have probably met a dominant woman in your workplace or social life without even knowing it. Avoid talking to every potential dominant partner like they are an alien; it will ruin the experience.
6. Know what you are looking for
Many people who want to know how to find a dominant woman arrive with little to no experience of what domination is actually about. If you arrive expecting them to fill you in on the A to Z, it will be a boring experience. Learn about what female dominance actually involves so that you know what to look out for and what a dominant woman wants from her male conquest. This reduces the risk of awkwardness or boredom on their part.
7. Read the profile carefully
If you encounter a dominant woman, make sure you fit her personality profile. You will be blown off, ignored, or insulted if you turn up and are nothing like what she is looking for. So, make sure that you will be someone she will likely find interesting – this stops a lot of the awareness and time-wasting on all sides.
8. Be authentically yourself
Part of the joy for a dominant woman is meeting a man who is not wearing a mask. Whatever you are as a person, be that – do not turn up and try to be someone you are not. You will have a much better chance of finding that dominating partner if you are yourself and do not try to act like what you think they want. This is not like writing a resume to discover a job; you are who you are, not what the resume asks for.
Stick to the above concepts; you should find it easier to encounter a dominant woman. It might be the woman in your work who you never expected or someone you see on a femdom website. Whatever your choice or preference, use the above tips to make the experience easier.
You’ve probably heard that you need adult website SEO but with so much information floating around, it can be confusing to understand what it really does. And if you’re running an adult business, it can be even harder to find help regarding adult website SEO due to the risqué nature of the content on your website. This is where I, your humble Fetish Webmistress, can help… Let’s begin.
SEO stands for Search Engine Optimisation.
The idea is that when you optimise your adult website using SEO, Google will favour your site and send you the valuable traffic needed to convert sales or bring in new clients. If you want your adult industry-based or professional dominatrix website listed high in Google’s results, then you will need a Search Engine Optimised site.
The aim is to have your website displayed at the top of the “organic searches” as opposed to “paid search” because, as usual sex workers don’t enjoy the privileges of mainstream business and as such paid listings in search engines like Google, are simply not an option. So primarily, SEO is all about trying to get your adult website, pro-domme or sex worker website on page 1 of the “organic search” results without having to pay for it.
One of the first things to understand is the role of the search engine, and why they are so important to your professional dominatrix or adult industry business. I may be teaching grandma to suck eggs but just for clarity’s sake, a search engine is a massive website directory that indexes millions of pages from websites across the internet. They send out ‘spiders’ to crawl websites so they can offer the best results to the human that are using their search functions.
In short, a search engine is a website you can search for things on. It will give you the answers to all of the questions. It’s important for you and your sex worker business to be the top answer to your clients’ questions! If you are wondering, “How can I do this, Miss May?” Read on…
How You Can Improve Your Adult Website SEO
This is all great information but how do you actually go about improving the SEO on your mistress or adult website and get yourself in the top-ranking spots? There are a number of factors that need to be taken into account, plus a few little industry secrets that can help boost your adult business today!
On-Page SEO
There are two primary components of search engine optimisation that will impact where your website will appear in the SERP’s (Search Engine Results Pages). The first is called On-Page SEO.
The job of On-Page SEO is to make sure your web pages tell the search engine spiders what your website is about. When a search engine crawls your website, your On-Page SEO will indicate to them what the subject of the website is about. We want Google to know that your website offers the best answer to its users’ questions and that it can feel 100% secure on suggesting that your website has the best answer.
Keywords
Keywords are essential for On-Page SEO. The search engine crawler or spider will be looking for keywords on your web pages to see if these match the search query. They will look at the titles on your page, the description, alt-text on the photos etc. So when deciding what keywords to include on your professional dominatrix or adult industry website SEO, think about the language potential clients may use to search for you.
On-Page SEO will include:
Keywords in the URL
Keywords in the Page Title
Keywords in the Page Description
Keywords in the page’s content headings
Keywords in the image alt-text
and you guessed it, keywords in the body of the content
I know that sounds like a hell of a lot of repetition but you do actually need to be careful not to “spam” the keywords; you should make sure they appear naturally throughout the page content. If you use WordPress, then a plugin like Yoast for SEO or RankMath will help you make good judgement in this respect.
To complement On-Page SEO, you need a certain amount of Off-Page SEO factors to appear in search results. This is the other important factor to consider when optimising your website.
Every website needs some links pointing to it from other websites. These are known as back links. Most adult industry sites will include a page of links or professional contacts towards the end of their navigation menu. If possible, those links need to include the keywords you are trying to rank for. That’s why it is vital to list yourself on Mistress Directories and link to other credible adult industry or professional dominatrix sites.
Google uses a Page Rank algorithm to put value on your page. The more links you have from credible and compatible websites, the higher your page rank is likely to be. Google will also index your website more quickly if it can see these other authoritative websites are also linking you, offering you some sex worker ‘street-cred’.
Where do I start with my own adult website SEO?
A lot to take in, right? And if you are wondering why you might have been on page 1 for a while and then began to fall away from the top rankings, well, SEO is a constant process, and your site’s SEO needs to be maintained to ensure the search engines know you are still relevant.
If your site is already well optimised and you’re looking for a way to maintain your rankings, posting blogs is a great way to keep the keywords on your site fresh. Blogs posts don’t need to be super long or overthought; there are plenty of ways to encourage the search engines to rank you highly while keeping your clients and professional contacts interested. Need some blogging ideas? Read my post “Blogging Ideas for the Femdom Community”
If your site is brand new and you are starting from scratch with the optimisation, work through each point above as they will be a great step towards helping you get the best results. Of course, if you’re struggling or if you’d rather focus on your primary job and leave the tech up to the pros, you can contact me for a free, no-obligation quote.
Let me take the headache out of your adult website SEO
I’ve been working on SEO strategies for a broad range of adult industry companies and sex workers since the beginning of Google. Here I share the first 3 SEO steps I take when starting to work with a new SEO client.
1. Consider the big picture
While getting listed on page 1 of Google for your most obvious keywords may be your ultimate goal, the truth is that if the keywords are particularly competitive it may not happen within 12 months. Often it can take longer.
The riches are in the niches.
So if it’s going to take that long for your website to climb up Google ranking results, meantime, how else can we quickly gain traffic from Google? The answer is by creating search engine optimised content for other keywords.
I ask my clients to think about their specific niches and specialities, and what types of sessions they would really love to be getting booked for. We also consider how their ideal client will be searching for those services. Those niches become your keywords and voila we have the basis for a brand new page or blog post for your website.
When a client finds your website while searching for their specific niche (that you just happen to adore as well) and then books a session, it’s a match made in heaven, right?
Example: If your favourite activity is chastity training but all you do is simply mention that on a list of activities, the keyword will get lost amongst the noise. I want you to create a full-page dedication to this service. Place yourself as the authority on the subject. If it is a highly competitive subject 300 words really are not enough – I recommend at least 1000. Use the keywords in the page title, repeat the keyword and its synonyms throughout the text. Make sure you include at least one photo and add alt-text to the photo.
You sell what you show.
Google will not only love your new page but your potential client will consider you an expert and who doesn’t want to leave their prized possession in the hands of an expert?
2. Local SEO.
Always include your location when you are writing about something that would involve a real-time meeting.
Further to my example above – if you are only interested in real-time meets for chastity training, you will benefit from adding your location to the page dedicated to chastity. Your page title could be something like Chastity Training Mistress in <your location>. Include variations of that phrase throughout your page text. Your location is not only important to Google but it improves your website visitor’s experience too.
3. Backlinks.
Recently a client was confused because her colleague’s website was listed on page 1 for a specific set of keywords to which she herself had been devoting all her SEO efforts – even though her colleague claimed that she didn’t even know wtf SEO was! I did some research i.e internet stalked on said colleague and discovered they’d gained plenty of mainstream publicity which to Google, is the equivalent of a gold medal. So Google takes into account the value of your global branding too. The more your website and brand has infiltrated the WWW, the more reputable Google will trust that you are the most worthwhile source to offer its users in the search results. Where, as Sex Workers, can we find these “backlinks”?
You might think mistress directories are a waste of money and time, however, Google considers your listings on these websites as votes for your websites! I recommend you regularly seek out new backlinks to your websites, whether it is the latest Mistress directory, an alternative edgy magazine or mainstream press – if you want that kind of publicity in your life.
So, what should you do next?
Write a blog post or new page on your favourite kink. If you wish to gain local visitors, include your location.
Tweet your new pages! Not just once, repeating tweets of your website content is OK.
Get listed on local & national Mistress Directories
Collaborate online with other sites and even other SWers to improve your global branding
Here are some older posts relevant to this topic that might help you write your new post/page:
